


If You Wanna Cry or Fall Apart, I'll be there to Hold Ya.

by thesassmaster



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I'll never be good at this, M/M, The others aren't in this really, sad!harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-27
Updated: 2013-11-27
Packaged: 2018-01-02 18:24:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1060064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesassmaster/pseuds/thesassmaster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall knew the second the song ended that he’d have a lot of work to do tonight. Even though the audience was on their feet, whooping it up, he knew Harry didn’t and wouldn’t care about that because his voice cracked and to Harry that was all that mattered.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You Wanna Cry or Fall Apart, I'll be there to Hold Ya.

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by the boys' performance at the AMA's this weekend. I don't really know, I don't think I liked the ending but there it is.  
> It's been edited but I'm kinda tired so could be messy, you've been warned.  
> The title may or may not be from a song...kudos to whoever gets it first! :)  
> Let me know what you think!

Niall knew the second the song ended that he’d have a lot of work to do tonight. Even though the audience was on their feet, whooping it up, he knew Harry didn’t and wouldn’t care about that because his voice cracked and to Harry that was all that mattered. It would seem like the end of the world to Harry, like he had failed and Harry hated to fail. He hated disappointing people more though, which is probably exactly what he’d think he’d done.

He risked a glance at his boyfriend and saw exactly what he knew he would.

Hunched shoulders, mouth twisted down into a frown, eyes distant and empty. Niall could tell he just wanted to bolt; a hand came up to run angrily through gelled back curls, the other white knuckling around the microphone and if he didn’t know it already, those actions proved to him that this wasn’t going to be easy. 

The boys minus Harry waved to the audience and by the time Niall lowered his arm Harry was already turning around to leave the stage. Forgetting the audience and the cameras, Niall whipped around to follow his quickly retreating boyfriend.

He watched as Harry ripped the plugs out of his ear, thrusting his microphone at one of the workers without a single word before taking off again. Niall huffed out a sigh; eyes’ meeting Paul’s who gestured for him to hand over his microphone before cocking his head after Harry. “5 minutes,” Niall heard Paul say to other 3.

“Harry,” he called as the taller boy weaved through the dozens of people backstage. He could feel the others on his heels as he chased down a very clearly upset Harry. A few turns later Niall found himself facing Harry’s back in the middle of deserted hallway.

He tried again, “Harry-” only to be cut off by the younger boy.

“I fucked up Ni,” and that right there said it all. Harry wasn’t big on swearing, he could typically say what he needed to without vulgar language, but now, upset and distraught his mouth turned foul.

“No Harry you-”

“Yes I did,” Harry seethed, spinning around to face Niall. The tears brimming in those usual bright green eyes did incredibly painful things to Niall’s insides. He could hear the boys sigh behind him, and Louis whisper something to the other two who were shuffling behind him, the sound deafening in the otherwise silent hallway.

Niall shook his head as he took the steps to close the distance between Harry and himself. Taking Harry’s face in his hands, he brought their foreheads together, “Oh Harry no, no you didn’t.” He watched as Harry squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to keep his tears from falling.

“I did,” Harry whispered, pulling away when Niall tried to reassure him that he was wrong. He shuffled back, pushing Niall’s hands away when they tried to grab at him.

“I stuffed the whole thing up and I made us look like idiots and I’m such a _fucking loser_ I can’t even sing…” Big hands came up to cover his face before a completely wrecked sob left Harry’s mouth, doing a damn good job at smashing Niall’s heart to pieces.

“Harry, please…please don’t,” Niall tried, “Don’t cry babe.”

“I c-can’t…I-I can’t help, help it,” Harry hiccupped around another sob, “I’m a screw up,” but that was enough for Niall. He rushed at Harry, tugging him against his smaller frame, pulling his head till it was buried in his shoulder, fingers clutched at the back of Harry’s head as Harry’s arms lifted to cling to Niall’s back.

“Don’t say things like that,” Niall scolded gently as he kissed the side of Harry’s head. “You are not a screw up,” Niall said vehemently as he pulled Harry back so they could look at each other. Green eyes didn’t move to meet his though. He took Harry’s face in his hands till he had no choice but to meet his eyes, “Harry you’re not…” his words tapered off as the voices of their security team filled the hallway. Harry’s eyes lifted to look over Niall’s shoulder, and Niall didn’t like the way his shoulders curved like he was moments away from curling in on himself.

He knew he wouldn’t be able to say too much more, not considering where they were. There would be a gaggle of people swarming them in a matter of seconds to fix their hair and make-up before they returned to their seats. Niall would have to wait till they were back in the safety of their hotel room before he could make this better and that sucked because he didn’t want to have to wait to fix this. Harry deserved all his attention and he definitely shouldn’t have to feel like shit for the next few hours. Maybe they could skip the after parties…hopefully.

He heard Paul saying they had a makeup team waiting to do touch-ups and Harry began wiping furiously at his eyes. Niall reached up to stop his hands from rubbing his face raw, replacing them with his own, smoothing away the remnants of Harry’s tears softly, gently and that was _almost_ a smile on Harry’s face. He smiled back hoping it helped even if only slightly.

The others began talking to Paul and Preston and Jason, laughing about something but Niall only had eyes for Harry, his devastated, beautiful Harry.

“You, Harry Styles are absolutely perfect,” Niall said and Harry’s eyes met his, lighting up briefly. Counting it as the small victory it was, Niall wrapped his arms around Harry’s shoulders before stretching up on his toes, “I love you so much,” he whispered before capturing Harry’s slack lips in his own.

Niall doesn’t know how long he stood there kissing his boyfriend, while said boyfriend barely responded outside of placing a hand on the center of Niall’s back, but he figures it’s long enough to make the growing crowd around them uncomfortable judging by the way Paul clears his throat and Louis begins making crude, sexual noises.

He pulled back staring up at Harry, with his glossy red lips, murky eyes and mussed up hair and he knows that that didn’t help things any even though he hoped it would. He let Harry go, stepping out of his arms and moving back so Paul can corral them to the makeup people before a hand grabs his arm and tugs him back around. He glanced up at Harry a little wary of what he’ll see but the makings of a smile are forming on his face, and maybe the kiss did help at least a little bit. Strong arms wrap around his body and pull him forward, lips land on the side of his nose, move against his cheek, “I don’t mean to push you away,” Niall nodded at him because he knows Harry would never do that, intentionally or otherwise.

Harry’s head ducked down till their foreheads knock together and their noses bump, he lets out a heavy sigh and Niall wished he could just whisk him away, somewhere far away from the crowds and the fans and the expectations and assure Harry that he’s the very reason the sun shines in Niall’s world, and just…wants to make it better, make it right but he knows (and hates) that it’ll all have to wait till later.

“Love you too,” Harry rasps as his arms tighten around Niall’s waist, Niall’s hands coming up to grip at the edges of Harry’s jacket.

A quick, desperate kiss that’s heavy and wet and makes Niall’s heart pound then clench so hard it hurts is how they’re forced to leave it. Being ushered away to touch ups, Paul’s presence heavy at his back sucks because Niall wants nothing more than to take Harry’s hand and run.

***

The rest of the award show passes in a blur because he can’t focus on anything for more than a few minutes, not with Harry a seat away still upset, with his composure splintering. Liam’s still placed between them and Zayn’s a good distraction, singing in his ear till Niall is forced to join him, but isn’t enough. Not nearly enough. Because Harry was crying and that means he probably still wants to cry, that’s how it is with him. Things that bother Harry don’t typically just come and go, and something that upset him to the point of crying isn’t going to be remedied with a simple kiss and few shoulder squeezes from the guys. It’s gonna take some doing to fix this. Figuring out exactly how to do that is how Niall spends the remainder of the evening.

He’s so consumed that he doesn’t even realize that they’re in the car back to the hotel until the vehicle makes a sudden stop at a light. Harry’s next to him, head pressed to the window, arms wrapped around his middle securely and Niall doesn’t dare disturb the peace of the car, especially considering everyone’s nearly asleep. He can tell that Harry isn’t asleep though, and it isn’t the fact that he isn’t snoring that gives it away. It’s that tension is rolling off his bent up body in waves. In an effort to ease some of that tension Niall takes one of Harry’s hands in his, slipping their fingers together, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze that hopefully let’s Harry know that he’s there, right there and that he isn’t going anywhere, at least not in this lifetime.

A head of curly hair turns to face him, body still plastered to the door of the car, a small, pitiful smile is sent his way and in Niall’s opinion that’s worse than seeing Harry frown. He doesn’t say anything just tugs at Harry’s hand till the other sits up slightly and where Niall would normally fit himself into Harry’s side, he knows that Harry’s the one who needs the cuddle right now. So as gently as he can manage he unwraps Harry’s arms from around himself, loops his own arm up and around Harry’s shoulders without releasing his hand. It only takes a minute of shuffling till Harry’s got his legs up on the seat, tucked under him, leaning against Niall’s side with the older boys arms wrapped tightly around him. Niall’s never seen his boyfriend look so small, fragile almost; he knows he doesn’t like it and that he never wants to see it again. Harry’s head is a heavy but welcome weight against Niall’s shoulder, running his fingers of one hand through Harry’s hair, freeing it from the product that held it captive all night, he feels rather than hears the younger boy drift to sleep against him.

The lax weight of Harry’s body though pushes Niall into Zayn on his other side, who chuckled when Niall sort of collapsed against his shoulder. Zayn’s arm came up to drape over Niall’s shoulders, ruffling softly at Harry’s hair before looking at Niall who’s tilted his head back to look at him upside down. Zayn sent him a smile, “Paul said we’re going straight to the hotel,” the older boy said to him in the quiet car. The hidden meaning behind that statement being, ‘No parties tonight, Harry’s more important.’ And Niall smiles at him because that’s the best thing he’s heard all night, even better than ‘And the American Music Award goes to…One Direction.’

Things aren’t any different though when they get back to their room. Harry isn’t an extremely loud person but he isn’t a quiet one either, so this silent Harry is completely alien to Niall, who doesn’t have a clue how to deal with this Harry. Not having said a single word to him or the boys as they left the show, hopped in their car and walked back to their rooms.

He watched as Harry began stripping out of his suit jacket and nice shirt, not entirely sure what to say or how to fix this. Niall could see the tension in the way his back muscles moved underneath his tan skin, bare chested and stiff, his belt hit the deck with a thud that seemed to echo in the eerie silence of their room.

Niall heard the way his breath rattled through his chest, knowing that meant he was on the verge of crying, probably trying his damndest not to. He crossed the room in a few short strides, pushing himself up against Harry’s back; wrapping his arms around his waist in what he hoped was a gesture of comfort. Niall kissed at his back before resting his cheek against the space between his shoulder blades.

“Tell me what to do,” Niall sighed against his skin, clasping his hands together over Harry’s stomach. “Tell me how to make this better.” He’d never felt this helpless, in his entire life, he’s never been at such a loss for words. Normally just holding Harry close, fingers through curls and kisses to warm skin is enough to make things better, but he knows that isn’t enough now. He just doesn’t know what will be and he certainly doesn’t want to end up making things worse.

A hand lands over his own, gives them a squeeze before Harry’s tugging them away and apart, letting them go and moving to undo the button and fly of his jeans. A few jerks later and Harry’s standing there in only his briefs, back still hunched and taut. Niall just stands there, wondering if it was something he did. Because Harry’s pushing him away which he just said a few hours ago he would _never_ do, but he’s doing it and Niall can’t help but feel responsible.

“You’re doing it…” He said and Harry’s shoulders jumped, “Pushing me away, I know you’re upset but don’t, don’t push me away, don’t do that. Harry,” Niall sighed exasperated before walking around to stand in front of Harry, looking up at him though the other is busy staring at the less than fascinating pattern of the carpet. “I’m right here…just I don’t know. Just don’t…you hate being alone when you’re sad so don’t do that…you’re not, I’m right here.”

“Will you,” Harry’s voice is small and so vulnerable Niall isn’t even sure if this person in front of him is his Harry, his boyfriend because he certainly isn’t acting like him. “Can you maybe just hold me,” it’s the tremor in his voice that gets Niall. But he’s tugging off his own clothes in favor of giving in to his own emotions, taking Harry’s hand in his own as he leads them to the bed. Niall gets in first moving the blankets around because it’s Harry that needs the cuddle right now not him. And Harry hardly waits for Niall to get settled before he’s tumbling into the bed beside him, scurrying into Niall’s arms, burrowing into his side as he tucks his face into the side of Niall’s neck.

Niall isn’t sure how long they stay like that, with Harry’s arms around his waist, head on his shoulder, one of his own hands secure around Harry’s back the other holding his head so Harry knows he doesn’t have to move away from his shoulder anytime soon if he doesn’t want to.

Harry’s voice is lower than a whisper when he breaks the silence, “Are you disappointed in me,” and that’s probably the dumbest thing Harry’s ever said and Harry’s said some dumb shit. He answers honestly, voice quiet but sure as the arm he has around Harry’s back tightens.

“No, never, I’m never disappointed in you,” Niall laid a kiss on top of Harry’s head. He can tell the younger boy doesn’t believe him and his answer to Niall’s words only proves it to him. 

“Do you think the fans are,” that’s dumb too. Harry could go out and eat a bowl of cereal on stage and the fans would enjoy every single second of it and tweet about afterwards. He doesn’t say that to Harry though because Harry doesn’t need sarcasm or wise cracks he needs his boyfriend and his love and Niall’s totally game to give that to him. “No baby, I don’t think the fans are disappointed either.”

One of the hands on Niall’s waist tightens as Harry’s head tilts against his shoulder, Niall looks down to meet green eyes in the dark. His hand moves to brush some hair off Harry’s forehead before it cups the back of Harry’s head, patiently waiting for Harry to say whatever it is he needs to say.

He doesn’t end up saying anything and they lay there staring at each other for a while before Niall decides to say what he needs to say if Harry isn’t going to.

“I meant it when I said you were perfect, you are Harry, you’re so perfect to me and to the fans, you can do no wrong in their eyes. So what if your voice cracked, we’ve been touring for months and we’ve hardly had more than a week off yet, you were wonderful, you’re always wonderful.”

“You’re biased,” Harry blinks up at him but the start of a smile is forming on his face and Niall knows he isn’t too far from breaking through, from making this better.

“Maybe but that audience tonight wasn’t, and they loved it, loved you.”

“That’s because you lot were amazing. _You_ were perfect.” Harry sighed as he tried to tuck his face back under Niall’s chin so he didn’t have to keep looking at the blue eyed boy, Niall didn’t let him though. “Now who’s being biased, “Niall chuckled and he actually got a bit of a laugh out of Harry too. Little victories, Niall thought for the second time that night. When their eyes met again Harry actually looked like himself, and Niall didn’t count on that being so easy. He thought it’d take at least an hour before he got his Harry back, got Harry to his goofy, easy self. 

With dimples etched into his cheeks Harry smiled up at him, the first real smile Niall saw from the younger boy since their performance. Then he was wiggling in Niall’s arms, rearranging himself till he was up on an elbow, propped above Niall who was still watching him a bit cautiously. Harry’s face got closer, so close that his breath washed over Niall’s face, “I think you’re perfect too,” Harry whispered and Niall could tell Harry just wanted to make sure he understood. Niall’s lips parted on instinct, tongue coming out to wet his lips, “Just so you know.”

Niall only hummed in response moving his arms up to hang them loosely around Harry’s shoulders, with fingers in his hair Niall pulled the other into a kiss that was accepted much easier than the one from earlier. Harry’s lips moved against his happily, determinedly, almost fervently as he shuffled about to get himself between Niall’s legs. The way Harry sighed against his lips when Niall licked his way into his mouth, tongues meeting in the middle let Niall know that it would all be okay, they’d be okay but he never really doubted that.

Just as Harry was about to worm his way into Niall’s briefs Niall’s phone buzzed from where he’d placed on the table beside the bed. He snickered when Harry huffed at him, squealed when Harry’s hand tickled at his sides as he grabbed for him, trying to stop him from rolling to the other side of the bed to get his phone.

“I’m still sad,” Harry whined against the back of Niall’s shoulder blade where he’d laid his head, mouth nipping at his pale skin, “I’m more important.” Niall could tell he was only teasing him so he didn’t feel any need to really worry about it.

“It’s Liam,” Niall said, looking at him over his shoulder, hand moving back to twist into Harry’s hair in an attempt to soothe him. Niall figured it was successful when Harry pushed up into his hand, sighing happily at the touch. “He just wants to know if you’re okay,” Niall rolled under Harry’s body so he was on his back again, staring up at the other as he waited for the answer to that question. Niall sort of already knew it was a yes, but he needed to know for sure. He wanted to hear Harry say it, just to be sure.

“So are you,” Niall asked, watching as Harry nodded his head. Kissing Harry back when the younger leaned down to capture his lips, “Yeah, I’m okay,” is what Harry said against Niall’s lips before he wrapped both his arms under Niall tugging him up into him, continuing to kiss him soundly. “Better, you make me better.”

***

Entwined, bodies curled around each other, body parts nearly indistinguishable is how Louis, Liam and Zayn found them the next morning when they snuck into their room to get them for breakfast. Louis started singing at the top of his lungs to try and get them up but Harry only snuffled into Niall’s hair, pulling the smaller boy closer in his sleep. And even though Louis wanted them up to have breakfast with them he smiled and stepped back, joining the other two in watching their best friends cling to each other as they continued to sleep soundly.

“I told you they’d be okay,” Louis huffed as he swatted at Liam’s shoulder, before starting to push the other two towards the door.

“No you didn’t,” Liam nearly yelled at him, “I said that to you and then had to sit on you so you didn’t do any-”

The door shuts behind them, but Niall and Harry are still lost to the world, and Niall presses himself further into Harry’s side as he continues to dream, smile forming on his lips as Harry answers with a snore.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm contemplating taking prompts for Narry stories...but I'm the literal worst (not even kidding) at getting stuff out in a timely manner so if you don't mind waiting for it then by all means leave one in a comment! I think you would have a better chance of getting a story if it's inspired by a Narry moment, recent or otherwise, that way I'd have something to build from xoxox


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